Finally, 1st week of attachment had past. This means hell for me, because Jun Wei is not staying, and i'm all alone wifth Chin Tai (my ATP supervisor). Hai, since attachment started, i'm so filled with saddness, i don't why but i just felt sad at time. I meant after work, during my sleep, when i wake up. I missed her so badly lately. Why can't i just have my busy busy holiday again? Without making myself busy i'll keep thinking of her, think till i want to go mad. I missed her alot!

I talked to her on msn, msg her and everytime is like friends. I'm so bad at timing, everytime i ask her out, she sure got some reason for not turning up. Or i just think too much. I don't, can anyone tell me? I know i said mean things to her but i already apologise for my immature way. Hai. This feeling just doesn't feel good at all. But well, now all i ask is to know whether are you oki with things in life.

Well but today my family made me happy. All my aunties and uncles came over and had dinner. I missed all my aunties la, miss the time we usually joke around. But i'm kinda mad with my uncle, my grandma put in so much effort just to prepare tonight's dinner. At the start of the dinner, he like shouted at my grandma to ask her stop asking people to sit and eat, then he complained saying thought is a simple meal, why cook this and that. The moment he came he ask my grandma whether she got cook vegetable anot. My grandma DAMN GOOD la, she cooked the dishes all is my aunties and uncles favourite. Why just he can't appreciate what grandma's hard work and just say 'thanks ma ma'. Jun Kai's grandma just past away and i just return from the funeral, then i ask myself, what if my grandma also past away. I'll break down for sure cause i LOVED my grandma so much. I never fails to tell her i love her, and thank her for everything she done for me. I hope there wouldn't be a day i'll shout at my uncle saying 'WHEN SHE ALIVE DID YOU NOT TOOK HER FOR GRANTED'

I also always tell my mom i love her. Because no one will know what will happen tomorrow right. Now know why i always want to call her and tell her how much i care. Because i already regretted losing her, i don't want to regret not telling her how much i actually care for her. If you are reading this, why make yourself so busy? Why don't you just share your burden with me, that i am most willing to go through with you? Is it so hard to be with me, do you still have feelings for me? Can i once again hold your hands, hug you, kiss you and love you like what we to do? Is it so hard to just throw all your burden onto me and let me be your resting point? I know we've been quarrelling, but you know that day we broke off i already told you i'll not keep quarrelling with you cause both of us are tired. i really want to end our quarrels, and learnt to communicate with one another properly. Is that so hard for you to do with me? Am i that scary to you? So many things to ask, but there always no answer. When will you be willing to cover my mouth again when i yawn? I missed your laughter, your smiles, your voice, your warmth, your eyes and your smell. I miss you!

I keep talking about you, thinking of you because i'm so scare i'll forget about you. i don't want that to happen. I don't want to forget you. You are always remembered. = ) hearing that you are working like mad and busy meeting so many people, kind of worry for your health, hope you are taking good care of yourself. I don't why but i keep sensing that something had happened to you. Hope you are not keeping it to yourself....